Sunday, September 30, 2012 12:36 am

friends

listen, ♥Tell me I'm crazy, say that I'm dumb. They don't matter, they really don't. Not anymore.

Picking the topic on friendship when I have a thousand and one things to rant about. The thousand and one times I want you back in my life when you haven't really left. The thousand and one times I've cried out to you but to no avail. The thousand and one times I've missed you and wish that you were here with me like before.

What would you do if you were me? How would you have reacted if I was the one who left, instead of you? That, I really wonder. But they don't matter, anymore. Cause it'll never happen, cause I'll always be the one that's waiting, cause we can't turn back time to what it was before. Cause, things just happened. And in a split second, I've lost my world.

And yes, it doesn't matter anymore.

Thursday, September 20, 2012 11:30 pm

smile

listen, ♥The presentation was so badly done, I don't know what to say about myself. I'm utterly disappointed and what not, I don't think I can do this anymore. The disappointment I receive is so threatening and demoralising, I feel myself crumbling.

But then again, I've got all the love, care and encouragement that has easily gotten me out of the pit that I was stuck in earlier. In mere hours, my life revolved, and became what it was initially. I cannot thank my friends enough, for always being there, for supporting me no matter the case, for never giving up, for always telling me that I'll make it.

I love my friends. :) They make me feel more loved than anyone in the world. :)

Thank you for all the encouraging texts that all of you sent, it really means a lot, more than anything in this world. :) And I'll continue to work hard despite the negativity I receive every now and then.

The start is always the toughest, but I will get by! :) Hwaiting! :) :)

#ICANDOTHIS

Meeting Chien Ming and Dennis tomorrow! :) :)
Sunshine on Saturday, even if its just for awhile. :)

#motivations

Wednesday, September 19, 2012 9:13 pm

random

listen, ♥The world is black, and hearts are cold.
There's no hope, that's what we're told.
And we can't go back, it won't be the same.
Forever changed.

A thousand and one thoughts going through my head.
I'm spinning, my world is spinning.
I pause, I reflect, I  think.
And then, I find myself sinking.

"SHHHH! DON'T LOOK BACK!!"
Says a voice inside my head.
But I just cannot help it.
How can I leave anyone, anything in the lurch?
How can I just abandon the world who has given up on me?
The time's not here yet.
And I still have every rights, to continue with my fight.
On this journey through life.

I'm done ranting and being negative. :)

On a lighter note, I finally got to meet Linus again after 5 months. :)
Catching up and stuff, it was really heartening to know that I have people around me,
who's ever so supportive and encouraging. :)

Thanks for dinner once again, probably burnt a hole in your pocket
And for taking me home. :)
You're the best! :) :)

I found my motivation to get through this week.
Friday with my Oppa(s)
Saturday with my Sunshine.
I cannot wait for Friday to come, really!!

Done with Music quiz, I really hope I did well. :(
Sociology presentation tomorrow, I hope it goes well.
English homework, final draft.

I can do these! :)
The week of night mare is coming to an end.
I'm gonna survive! :)

Monday, September 10, 2012 11:42 pm

yesterday

listen, ♥You know the smile that I once saw? I saw them once again
You know the words I've been wanting to hear? I heard them all again.
You know the touch that always lingered? I felt it all again.

This journey has been tough, not only on my part, but also yours.
Why? I don't know either.

They say that the person that was left behind tend to be stronger and hurt more.
I reckon with that, but what made you think that I was this strong?
My pretence? My struggle? My competitiveness?
I don't know, and I'll never live to understand.

Gone were the days when I could feel as a whole all over again.
Gone were the days where I would always have you by my side.
Gone were the days where we sat down and laughed like complete idiots.
They're gone, all gone, with the wind.

And I sit here in silence, secretly awaiting your return.
Yet, in the corners of my heart, I know that it would be impossible.

You once said that you'll always be rooting for me, no matter the place and time.
But somehow, I no longer feel that much love and encouragement any longer.
Have you slowly faded away as I continuously make myself busy to forget about the sorrow within me?
Or have I not done enough?
My efforts, will they pay off eventually?

I've been through hell and back so many times,
I'm numb. I'm immune to the pain that I've been inflicted time and again that nothing matters any more.
If this was the way that things were going to be, why am I stuck in this situation when I could have left then and there?
I didn't register myself to get hurt time and again, for no rhyme or reason.

This kills, slowly, but certainly.
I find myself crumbling.
I feel myself falling apart.

I miss you, with every heart beat, I swear.
But it wouldn't make a difference any more.
You're never coming back.
You've vanished, forever.

Every trace of you brings back so much memories.
The places we went, the path we took, the things we ate.
I cannot reiterate how much I truly miss you and wish that you were here.

Life has been so hard on me.
I need that little bit of motivation to go further.
I need that very bit of hope to get by.
I need that inch of encouragement to get me through the day.
Most importantly, I need you in my life.

I'll always remember this -
"True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable." - Dave Tyson Gentry

Although this silence kills,
Someday, I promise we'll meet again,
Better, stronger.
And silence, would be the best remedy to our souls.

I miss you Bestf,
Forever and always.

I await the day you come back into my life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE WHO TAUGHT ME HOW TO LOVE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE WHO WALKED WITH ME THROUGH MY DARKEST TIMES.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE WHO WOULD STOP AT NOTHING TO SEE ME SMILE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE WHO STOOD BY ME IN TIMES OF SELF DOUBT.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE WHO SOLELY CLAIMS THE RIGHT AS MY BESTF.

Saturday, September 01, 2012 1:24 pm

overjoyed

listen, ♥